Creating New Habits
Habits are funny little things. To make them stick, we have to work at them, practicing constantly just like on our yoga mats, but once they are in place, they are nearly effortless to maintain. We can have good habits and not so good ones but they all tell us a little something about ourselves.
Often, our habits can tell us that perhaps we need to pay more attention to something. How often do we brush our teeth and exert little to no effort because it’s simply part of the routine? If someone has a smoking habit, how often do they find themselves stepping out of conversions, away from work or not being present in a moment due to this habit?
Once upon a time, our parents or teacher or coach or someone in authority told us a little lie that it took 21 days to form a habit. Or maybe they said two weeks. Or maybe it was 30 days. Either way, this isn’t correct. A study published in European Journal of Social Psychology by Phillippa Lally, a health psychology researcher at University College London, showed that some habits take 66 days to form. Simple habits were easier to adapt to while more complex habits took longer.
What the research does show, is that habits can be altered. Our neuropathways are pliable and able to shift and this is a good thing. When we decide to create healthy habits such as drinking more water, offering positive self-talk to ourselves, limiting screen time or whatever habit we want to shift, we can think of our brain much like a map full of trails, paths and roadways. The automatic responses we have are on well-traveled freeways. There is a paved, multi-lane road to take you from A to B without a second though, as an automatic response. As we create new habits we have to pave some of the trails and paths, or maybe even hack through a jungle to create a path where there wasn’t one before.
Luckily the neuroplasticity of our brain can always be molded and shaped so constantly building new roads with good habits is something we can always do. With a small amount of initial discipline, you can create a new habit that requires little effort to maintain once it’s established.
Here are some tips for creating new habits and making them stick:
Start Simple – Don’t try to change your entire life in a day. It is easy to get over-motivated and take on too much. Start small and build up from there.
Let’s Commit– As noted above, it generally takes at least 66 days for a habit to stick and feel automatic. If we can make it through the initial conditioning phase, it becomes much easier to sustain. Mark the intention of commitment on a calendar and count out time to set up a habit for success. Being able to see progress helps us commit to the process, which in turn, brings on the change. This commitment can also include an incentive. If we practice this habit for 66 days, we can reward ourselves with acknowledgement, something we have been wanting, or simply being able to see the results of our actions as we continue through the habit.
Practice Consistency – Consistency is critical! Whatever it is we want to do, it requires consistency every single day. Set a routine that works for you to incorporate the new habit on a regular daily basis. Setting a reminder on our phone is a good way to keep up with consistency. If it’s a once daily activity, have a set time to accomplish the task and don’t let anything else get in the way. Consistency also offers us a chance to set an intention, or a “why” reason, behind our behavior. When we have a reason WHY we want to do something, it can make the goal more powerful because we can come back to that reason when we don’t feel as motivated. Intention is a huge motivator and can help us stay on track.
Be Accountable - Find an accountabili-buddy! This is someone who supports us in creating this habit and who may be trying to accomplish the same thing. When we have others to lean on and those we don’t want to let down, we tend to follow through with our actions more easily. Secondly, writing down a resolution makes our ideas more clear and focuses on the end result. Leave writings on that new habit where it can be seen regularly.
Be Imperfect – Don’t expect every attempt to change a habit to be successful immediately. When we expect a few bumps along the way we won't get so discouraged when we miss a day or something gets in the way of creating the new habit. We let it pass, and move on to the next opportunity to keep working on the habit.
Find a Mentor - Spend more time with people who model the habits we want to mirror. Being around people with the habits we want to embody makes everything easier when it comes to forming a new habit.
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Now that we have some tips to make our habits stick, let’s create a roadmap to make it so. Answer these questions to help fine tune the habit forming process. This process can be used as we break bad habits and form new healthy ones. It can be updated as the habit evolves.
The simple habit I commit to changing or creating is ________________________. I am fully committed to this change.
I fully commit to forming this habit on ________________________ and will check in with my progress weekly for 66 days. The 66th day of this habit process is ________________________ and the reward to myself for sticking with this new habit process will be ________________________ which is either a direct or indirect result of the habit I’m creating.
In order to be consistent I will perform this habit regularly with intention. I intend to be fully committed to this change for at least 66 days to build this habit and will practice it daily at ________________________ so it becomes a part of my routine.
This contract with myself is the first part of accountability. But I will also share this habit intention with ________________________ who will check in daily or practice this habit with me daily. This accountability will keep me on track.
I will not beat myself up if I am imperfect in execution of this plan. If I miss a day of habit forming I understand that this is part of the process. I will not be thrown off course.
A mentor is preferably a person I can spend time with, but I can also be an author I have read or motivation speaker I have seen. . Someone I look up to that has the habit I wish to form is ________________________. I will engage with this person by ________________________.
Forming new a new and healthy habit isn’t easy, but it is something we can work at every single day. It’s never too late to change our behavior and build new roads in our brains.
If you would like a mentor or someone to hold you accountable, I am always here to do so. Whether it’s building businesses, managing body image issues or creating time for self-care, I would love to assist you on your journey. Please fill out the form on the Contact Us page to get a free 30 minute conversation and tools together you started.